Monday, November 19, 2007

Speaking out for a Muzzled Hero of Mine.

As you may know, the Hollywood writers strike looks to bitterly continue for some time, and while many shows are now affected, the ones I miss the most are the late night talk shows.

For me, (being their target demographic and all) none are missed more that the Daily Show and Colbert Report. I enjoy both, but I feel that Jon Stewart can ride out this strike with relative ease.

It's Colbert that I worry about.

Being a marketing professional for most of my adult life, I have seen many glossy pitches, heard many speeches delivered in dulcet tones that invoke a feeling of wanting to be part of whatever they are hawking (that's sales and marketing in a nutshell, folks.) But in my short tenure on this planet, I have never seen such a brilliant self-promotionalist as Stephen Colbert.

Now, some of you may argue that Stephen Colbert is normal a man, or just a character he portrays, or a talking head that reads what ever his brilliant writers put in front of him, but I say there is no need to parse up his identity. He is all those things, and he is set forth up this world to entertain me. (OK you too, but more for me. :P )

I imagine Stephen Colbert as more like Xerxes as portrayed in "300." Sitting upon his giant golden throne, God-King supreme, his every wish and need fulfilled by a countless horde of adoring slaves. All he asks from the rest of us is our subservience and love, and he will make all our wishes come true.

Now many of his adoring slaves have abandoned his golden throne and joined the picket line in Hollywood. How can the God-King survive this drought of endless love??

Fear not, mister Colbert. There are are those of us that lurk in the shadows who will support you during this time. Allow me to show my bonafides:

I am waiting to surrender it, but no one more famous than I has meandered by yet.

So Colbert, I am here to keep your name in the news, starting with my tiny daily audience. Perhaps others will be inspired to take up the challenge of keeping you in the spotlight. I pledge to mention you at least once a week until the strike is over, and then you won't need my humble offerings.

You may think that he will never know of my support, but thanks to the power of Google Alerts, he or his duly designated majordomo or hunchback sidekick will see my little post sooner or later. And yes, he does already have an adoring fanbase that can be readily found at Colbert Nation, but they offer nothing as insightful or snarky as I can.

And Stephen, (may I call you that, or do you prefer God-King?) should you feel the need to get some pressing news tidbit out though a trusted news source, I stand ready to pass it on to the adoring proletariat masses.


P.S. Being a hand model is harder than it looks. I never knew I could be so vain about shots of my appendages, this was the 5th take, before I lost the light...


meleah rebeccah said...

You make a FINE hand model.

Steven Colbert is awesome. My son (only 11 years old) is visibly upset over the writer strike and how its affecting his favorite shows like this one.

Jackie said...

I've been waiting for this post!! And you're right - I do very much appreciate it.

I'm starting to get twitchy from lack of Daily Show and Colbert Report :-(

Krokodil said...

What are they filling the shows with in the mean time? I'm from South Africa and we don't experience the immediate effect of the writer's strike here.

Mark Dykeman said...

Now I've really got to watch Colbert...

Sofia said...

You are right on. We fellow Colbert lovers must stick together. Hand modeling is hard! Try feet modeling, it's very trying on the sole.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Stephen Colbert has nice ties. Anyone with a great tie rack is OK in my book (which I am writing Write Now) Well... except for those 103 dumb guys with nice ties.
My hand modeling is slim. I have cuts, scars, callouses, and rough dark skin. My only gig was for a chopper handlebar marketing group called "Chopper Handlebar Marketing Group".

Speedcat Chopperzzskins

Anonymous said...

Hubby was once engaged to a women who, to explain her nights out, said she was a shoe model...size 10 shoe model? well stranger things have happened I guess..I also miss Leno...I love his slightly off sense of humor


justin JCH (meleah's son, from mommamiameaculpa) said...

GO Stephen Colbert!!!!!

Pug Mom said...

Ah, Stephen Colbert - lovely, bear-hating Stephen. I weep at our loss. :)